Embracing the Heart of Forgiveness

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Two days ago I arrived at work fuming…I was frustrated beyond everything, but I remained calm as I started a nearly 2000 word post in haste over what led to my issues before 8:30 am….I will have you know that this post is not going to be that long so don’t trip!!!

In fact, I deleted it altogether.  I admit, I have a bunch a drafts just waiting, but this one had to go!  Long story short…my son and I had a bit of a disagreement…I was in my feelings…he was in his…and Kayla was caught in the crossfire…I was late to work…got an email from one of his teachers…I felt the need to take his Xbox 360 load it in a garbage bag…take his baseball bat and bash it to itty-bitty pieces all while telling him, ” This is because I love you!”

The truth is my urge to destroy that contraption was warranted, but severely misguided.

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I’m grateful that God doesn’t allow us to do some of the things we might want to do in a moment of passion…

After some careful communication with my boss and future boss…I realized that when mercy has been given, it’s our privilege to offer it to others no matter how big the offense.

Later that afternoon, I got a call from my son.  He’d gotten out of school early because of semester exams so his call was one requesting that I come all the way home to unlock the door for him.

Yes, I work about 25 miles from home and yes I usually have to pick my daughter up from school another 25 miles in the opposite direction, but I knew he needed me.

We kept playing phone tag for a minute, but when he finally reached me…his words, “Mama, it’s cold out here.  I’m locked outside. “

I could have just as easily told him,

“I told you to bring a coat” or ” I don’t have gas to waste to pick you up and then go back to get up Kayla and then go back to her concert!”

Yep…she had a concert last night too….and I had less than a quarter tank of gas at the time of his request.  Yet, my heart knew that God wouldn’t do me like that.

 That’s the beauty of a loving parent/child relationship.

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Yes, we get angry with one another, but ultimately, we want what’s best for the other and we don’t intentionally want to hurt the other in the long run.  

It’s taken me a long time to grasp that concept so I’m grateful for understanding.  I’ve had to learn that lesson so well lately with regard to my own mother so what did I do?

First, I received his apology.  He was sitting outside and jumped in my car just to ride the distance from the end of the drive way to the garage and he said,

“I’m sorry for this morning. I was wrong.”

Funny thing is that I completely understood now.  I could see how God deals with my attitudes and disobedience with such mercy and love because while he felt the need to apologize to me, when he asked for my help, my willingness to drop everything to ensure he was okay was evidence enough that in my heart, I’d already forgiven him.

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Perhaps, he didn’t know that.  In fact, I’m sure that he had no idea that  I’d already forgiven him.  He felt the need to tell me how sorry he was.  In my humanness I was satisfied with this exchange.  However, God’s love is much stronger in that. He doesn’t wait around withholding forgiveness just because we haven’t admitted our fault.  Rather, He lavishes us with unconditional love that compels our heart to offer the same to others.

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©2014 Nadia Davis. All Rights Reserved.

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